distance

Mother just sent me via e-mail the most wonderful looking recipe for pumpkin bars and spiced rum. I haven't made either yet, but I am sure I will later tonight after I shower and clip Oprah Winfrey's nails.

She has been going at my couch very aggessively the last week or so, Oprah Winfrey. Last night I told her that I think she's upset with me since I've been working late nights and not cooking meals at home nearly as much as I should be. After I said this, I added that it's not much fun having a grump for a roommate. Oprah Winfrey gave me a nasty glare, one I had never seen before, and trotted into our bedroom with her tail raised. We didn't talk for the rest of the night and though I don't like to admit it, I think it was good for us, the distance. I ignored her and she ignored me. We both had alone nights. I spent my time in the shower drinking wine and in my bed eating steamed perogis. Oprah Winfrey spent her time sleeping on top of the VCR.

field trip

I didn't want to go. I agreed and everything when Miss Pennyhook, the 7th grade science teacher, asked me. Deep down, though, I really didn't want to. I didn't like museums. I didn't like bus rides. I didn't like eating my lunch out of a bag with thirty some odd students. Usually lunch time is my time, or at least my time with Mr. Sven, Mr. Darceau's 8th grade student teacher this semester. We've been eating together since his very first week. We huddle around my small desk during 4th period and talk about things like our parents or Jay Leno. We absolutely love talking about Jay Leno.

When I broke the news to Mr. Sven (I call him Jason because that is his first name) I could tell he was upset. He gave me a look he'd never given me. He ate his apple in silence.

"Do you think you'll be able to survive a day without me," I said, trying to lighten the mood as Jason stuffed his apple core into his brown lunch bag. "Do you think you'll get by."

After a short pause and after Jason got the wrapper off his granola bar with his teeth, he said, "I think so."

Jason bit into his granola bar and as he was chewing he asked if I would bring him back a souvenier, which of course I said I would. I love buying a good souvenier.

excerpt

From C. Binton's forthcoming novel, The Bicycle Fire

"Not many people know about my imaginary friend or my collection of grocery recipts or my inability to say I love you to the people I care most about. Not many people know that inside of my head is a strong desire to say even more than these words I give you now, late at night, while my wife is sleeping in our bed upstairs and our small dog, Sam, is laying on my lap. Not many people know that I have thought about giving up more than once in my life and have isolated myself in small cabins that are built inside of my body, built by myself with whatever cheap scrapwood was laying around at the time. Not many people know that this desire, the one my hands move with now, is both physical and metaphysical and will be here long after I am gone for another to see and swallow and do with what they want."

Changes

Cora's not doing much these days, not even leaving her bedroom except to use the bathroom to throw up or to make spaghetti on the stove. The only time dad's talking to her is when they go to the doctors together. The only time I'm talking to her is to tell her about Sterling and the bad things he keeps saying to teachers or the soccer coach and his DUI. Cora isn't being as lippy as she's been in the past which is kind of nice and has made me wish that keeps getting pregnant after she's done with this one. I told this wish to Reggie a couple of days ago when he was over playing Mortal Kombat on the Playstation and he said he would get Cora pregnant when she was done with this baby. I gave Reggie a look like that wasn't the right thing to say, especially since me and Cora look pretty much the same and our voices even sound alike.

"That's cold, Reg," I said. "That's flat cold."

Reggie looked at me and told me he was just joking.

"You think I'd sleep with a girl who has told me repeatedly that I have no penis and am as useful as a fat retard with a crooked skull," Reggie said. "No, thanks, I'm gonna pass on that."